mutualize:

thesassycat:

People tend to confuse friendliness with flirting and thats real dangerous

they also confuse my death threats with being sarcastic and thats real dangerous

homonomo:

my sister asked what type of soup I was eating but I didnt know what to say because I had just poured orange juice into a bowl and was drinking it with a spoon

(via guy)

snorlaxatives:

i lost my virginity inside the night club on club penguin 

(Source: snorlaxatives, via guy)

magicul:

people who don’t text back straight away annoy me even though i am one of those people

(via guy)

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

(via daisheaharrisx0x0)

egberts:

highasfuckernoodles:

egberts:

babies are so chill you can just set stuff on their heads and they don’t even care

How do you know this?

i’m the oldest of ten kids, i know some stuff about babies

egberts:

xehanort:

every time i see american horror story shortened as “ahs” i always read it as american high school

even scarier

(Source: sailoruranus, via egberts)

youtubes5ever:

idealisthymnal:

aangnog:

probend:

PE is 5% exorcise and 95% embarrassment 

what kind of gym class do you have that exorcises their kids

image

I laughed so fucking hard jesus

(via egberts)